worried about the end of the world, what with the year 2000
on the way. The Y2K computer glitch, the religious zealots
predicting the APOCALYPSE…none of this means shit compared
to Frigg A-Go-Go. Frigg is what you should be worried about.
Frigg is what will shut down your commerce and corrupt your
children. Frigg is the best of times and the worst of times.
Frigg is a fuckin' rock and roll band, baby.
Remember that time you watched a guy crash his truck into
a light pole, and when the truck exploded and started burning
there was nothing you could do but watch him burn to death?
Remember that party where everyone was dancing and the music
was so loud your ears were bulging in pain and that long,
lean nurse's aide took you outside and stood you up against
the front of the building and went down on you in the pouring
rain until you did your Hiroshima imitation and she enveloped
you with that smile?
Remember when you were 16 and you were late for school and
you were speeding down the street and that moron backed out
in front of the post office and you ran right up on the backside
of his family station wagon with the paneling on the side
and your sister who usually wore a seat belt but didn't that
day went smashing into the windshield and made it look like
a big glass spider web spackled with her forehead blood?
Forget about everything you thought was rock and roll. If
Ronnie ain't screaming it, it ain't rock and roll. If Jeremy
ain't holding down the bottom with lightning bass runs, it
ain't rock and roll. If the beat comes out of a machine, or
out of some lame motherfucker who ain't Flash, it ain't rock
and roll. And if you don't hear Christian's organ - the one
with the keys, asshole - gluing it all together, it ain't
rock and roll. If you thought the only kind of music that
came out of South Louisiana was the kind made by accordions
played by rednecks with gun racks in their pickup trucks,
you were seriously wrong. So wrong that we're gonna have to
kill you now. Frigg A-Go-Go style. With plugs in your ears
and a smile on your face. Let 'em take you. Don't fight it.
Resistance is futile. You don't have to worry about the end
of the world, because Frigg is taking it over. And they're
gonna kick its ass.